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原文如下 (电台DJ 被采访者 Marie Jost)
Discovering Leslie Cheung
DJ Coming up next on the program . A story of falling in love with a screen idol that has led to something more . Marie Jost first saw the Chinese actor Leslie Cheung about 2 years ago , now she can’t get him out of her mind . But it’s a little more than that she’s just discovering a new culture of Chinese film and music.
MJ I came of the age during the Cultural Revolution , so everything I heard about China was very negative . I by discovering Leslie , I have been inspired to dig deeper into Hong Kong culture , and then looking at China this bohemeth culture , this millenial of culture. I want to know more about China as it takes a greater role in the world .
DJ But all that started with fans….fascination for Leslie . I’ll talk more with Marie just a moment . I am Dick Gordon from American public media , this is the story .
DJ I’m Dick Gordon , this is the story . Lots of people develop an affection for a screen star that’s often why film actors and performers get to where they are good-looking people,they’re talented , and or one level , this is simply a story about that , about one fan’s infatuation witn a performer . But Marie Jost is not just a giddy 15 year old ,who’s crazy about a latest boy band , she was already just into her fifties when she first felt for the Hong Kong actor Leslie Cheung .
MJ I never expected to be a fan . I guess that I have admired artists before and work they’ve produced , but never to this extent . I have no explanation for .
DJ There is one thing you need to know about the performer Leslie Cheung and that is he’s dead . He took his own life 6 years ago . Marie didn’t know that when she first saw him in his signature flim Farewell , My Concubine .
MJ Everybody says it’s , this is a great film won golden globe for best foreign picture . I knew it was well reviewed , put it in the video player and was just blown away by his performance . And he’s playing a very difficult character . He’s a Chinese Peking Opera performer , and he plays the female roles . So he does the female impersonation , and his key role is the concubine . And he has both on stage a relationship with his stage brother who plays the King . But off stage , he begins to realize that he’s really in love with this man who’s not interested in him in that way at all . It’s in his eyes , because he’s wearing full-face makeup (what) chalky white makeup with painted on features and he has to act primarily using his eyes and the director has the cameraman focus the scene so that you really see the eyes and you see all the emotions , that courses through him he can only express using his eyes .
DJ So you’re sitting , you’re watching .And what’s going through you ?
Discovering Leslie Cheung
DJ Coming up next on the program . A story of falling in love with a screen idol that has led to something more . Marie Jost first saw the Chinese actor Leslie Cheung about 2 years ago , now she can’t get him out of her mind . But it’s a little more than that she’s just discovering a new culture of Chinese film and music.
MJ I came of the age during the Cultural Revolution , so everything I heard about China was very negative . I by discovering Leslie , I have been inspired to dig deeper into Hong Kong culture , and then looking at China this bohemeth culture , this millenial of culture. I want to know more about China as it takes a greater role in the world .
DJ But all that started with fans….fascination for Leslie . I’ll talk more with Marie just a moment . I am Dick Gordon from American public media , this is the story .
DJ I’m Dick Gordon , this is the story . Lots of people develop an affection for a screen star that’s often why film actors and performers get to where they are good-looking people,they’re talented , and or one level , this is simply a story about that , about one fan’s infatuation witn a performer . But Marie Jost is not just a giddy 15 year old ,who’s crazy about a latest boy band , she was already just into her fifties when she first felt for the Hong Kong actor Leslie Cheung .
MJ I never expected to be a fan . I guess that I have admired artists before and work they’ve produced , but never to this extent . I have no explanation for .
DJ There is one thing you need to know about the performer Leslie Cheung and that is he’s dead . He took his own life 6 years ago . Marie didn’t know that when she first saw him in his signature flim Farewell , My Concubine .
MJ Everybody says it’s , this is a great film won golden globe for best foreign picture . I knew it was well reviewed , put it in the video player and was just blown away by his performance . And he’s playing a very difficult character . He’s a Chinese Peking Opera performer , and he plays the female roles . So he does the female impersonation , and his key role is the concubine . And he has both on stage a relationship with his stage brother who plays the King . But off stage , he begins to realize that he’s really in love with this man who’s not interested in him in that way at all . It’s in his eyes , because he’s wearing full-face makeup (what) chalky white makeup with painted on features and he has to act primarily using his eyes and the director has the cameraman focus the scene so that you really see the eyes and you see all the emotions , that courses through him he can only express using his eyes .
DJ So you’re sitting , you’re watching .And what’s going through you ?
MJ And I am looking at this man going . I don’t think I’ve ever seen such depth of emotion , such hopes , such joy and such pain , all expressed at the same time , in such exquisitely beautiful human being who can be a man and a woman at the same time . That’s all….there in him , in this moment , in this role , in this scene .
DJ That’s when you said “I’m , I’m gonna learn more about this character .”
MJ That was it . That was the moment I said I have to find out who this actor is .
MJ you see that he is able to communicate the things that his character cannot say because of the nature of the relationship between these two men . And it is so palpable and it is so obvious .
DJ Marie Jost went straight to the Internet to find out more about the actor .
MJ You know go to the wikipedia like everyone else ( right) . Start reading his bio and get about half way through it and they talk about his death . I was totally unprepared for this . I’m , like. What you mean he’s dead ? I thik was it an accident and I keep reading , it was suicide . And I had to just stop reading , I was just so shaken , I’m like how could someone , such an exquisite human being , be in a position that they were in such dispair,that they would take their own life . And I came to find out over time that he had pretty severe depression , and that had attempted suicide a few months earlier . So for his family , it was very sad , but may be not totally unexpected , but for his fans , there was so incling this would happen .
DJ And you were I guess to discover that you weren’t alone……
MJ Oh , my gosh! Then after the wikipedia I thought , well , they started talking about his music in the wikipedia article. I mean I said he’s not just an actor . So I went Youtube , I’ve never been to Youtube in my life . Put in his name and a series of concerts came up . He had these gorgeous costumes . He had a possession about him , a self possession when he was performing for his fans , that was mezmorizing .
DJ Was there one song that you heard the time that’s really caught your imagination ?
MJ I found a translation for the lyrics for his song “I” , and it was a song in which he really said literally “ I am what I am “ .He had been outed by the press in 1995 , so it was common knowledge that had a male companion and so he was basically just standing up in front of the world saying “This is who I am “ , that is Leslie Cheung . And to see him perform this live in front of , I don’t know , 12 or 15 thousand people in Hong Kong Coliseum in a live show and his conviction his total possession of who he was , was mezmorizing .
DJ I’m Dick Gordon , you’re listening to the story . Marie Jost found herself so swept up in the story of this Leslie Cheung , his movies and his music that….well, she started writing poetry to him. One year ago , on the anniversary of his death , another fan she ‘d met online was traveling to Hong Kong to leave flowers for Leslie outside the hotel room where he’d jumped to his death . She asked that person to attach her poem , one she calls “For Leslie “
MJ I whisper your name on the wind
No answer
Studying the night sky
I wonder which star shines for you alone
My heart undone
I never expected to love you this much
What of the next
DJ Is it a kind of love?
MJ I think it is . I really do , I do feel what he gave his audience , when I watched his performances , I was watching one of his live concerts the other night , and it’s the last of the live shows he died in Hong Kong , and he comes out on stage , now there’s 15,000 people in this auditorium .Huge stage set up , he comes out alone . Just him and a spotlight at the edge of the stage with all of these fans . And he starts singing love songs. But they’re not love songs to some romantic partner . You feel the way he’s communicating with the audience . These are love songs that Leslie singing for his fans . And their response to him , I mean they’re crying out between numbers “Leslie ,Leslie, we love you , we love you .”
He says a little bit bofore he sings the song , he says , you know , it’s really hard to say “ I love you “ in Cantonese , it just gives me the chills I can’t do it . But I can do it in English .And he says to his fans , he says “ I love you , I love each and every one of you . I love you . “ And all 15,000 people in the Hong Kong Coliseum are just overcome with emotions .
DJ Well , what do you hear from friends and family when you talk about him ?
MJ They don’t understand it . My husband says that he recognizes that Leslie is a great actor . He hasn’t really sat and watched one of Leslie’s live concert performances , and that fpr me , was where I really got Leslie was in front of live audience .
DJ Even if you sat your husband down to watch Farewell , My Concubine , or some of the classic Cheung films .
MJ He was moved by that , he said “Yes , Leslie is a great actor . But it’s not , he’s not a fan in the same way .
DJ Does it ever get your husband jealous ?
MJ I would be worried if he was jealous of a dead gay man .
DJ This is where I need your help because you know people line up to go to Graceland , because they think Elvis was magnificent . People still play Frank Sanatra records . You know women through their underclothes at Toms Jones ,Michael Jackson ,you know , will live on in the minds of many fans . Your infatuation , if I can use that word , with Leslie Cheung , I mean is it , is it different from that , is it somehow separate from that kind of thing .
MJ I don’t know , because I’ve never been a fan of an artist before .
DJ And so is it kind of uncomfortable in a way …..I mean , do you question yourself?That part I guess of what I’m asking .
MJ No , no , because I keep coming back to his artist legacy , some fans are focused on his life as a celebrity. .
DJ And you’re not?
MJ Not to the same degree . I mean , I am not concerned about , oh , he had this public appearance at this venue on this day and here are the pictures of it . For me , the greatness of Leslie really is his greatness as an artist and what he brought as an individual to that .
DJ And how far will you go in your pursuit of understanding this guy , Would you go to the anniversary held of the death in Hong Kong , for example ?
MJ I am planning to go next April 1st .(OK) um , I do plan to leave flowers , I don’t know at which of the three sights whether it would be the Mandarin Oriental .
DJ The Mandarin Oriental is the hotel where he killed himself , right? Jump down from what….?
MJ Yes , where he died .(JUMP DOWN) 24th floor .
DJ To the front of the hotel .(it was rather a public end)
MJ To the front of the hotel , to the street . (TO THE PUBLIC) Yes and no , I mean he even stage managed that , he called his tour manager , asked her to meet him at the hotel , and then a few minutes before they were going to meet in the coffee shop . He said “Florence , I want you to meet me out front “ . And within in minutes , he was there on the street . And she was never spoken about it , but one assumes it was very traumatic for her , but she shielded him even in death from the paperazzi .There were no post-modern picture of Leslie that anyone ever seen .
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DJ I kept pressing Marie Jost to tell me how her fascination with Leslie Cheung has somehow made a real difference to her .
MJ At a time in my life ,when I didn’t expect I would be doing this , I’m embrancing a whole new culture , and a new language , I mean I am trying to teach myself Cantonese ,um, without a teacher . Because I want to be able to hear Leslie in his own words , speaking in his own voice and understand some of what he is singing , but also with the idea that he’s part of this larger context of Hong Kong . So now I’m learning more about Hong Kong and I had never expected to be interested in Hong Kong and greater China .
DJ But at the center of all this is your obseeeion with this actor , this dead …..
MJ I wouldn’t call it an “Obsession” , you might characterize it as that.
DJ I don’t think an obsession is necessarily a pejorative of thing .
MJ OK , OK .
DJ Give me another word ,”Infatuation” ,do you like that better ?
MJ No , because that doesn’t sound serious enough . Infatuation sounds like something that comes one day and ( like a crush , yeah )leaves the next . Maybe there isn’t a good word in English to describe it .
DJ Marie Jost , joined me here in our Chaple Hill studios . And this is one of her favorite Leslie Cheung’s songs , it’s called “Red” .
THE END
